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I want...I want to cherish this feeling. Even if I realise that it won't hold on much longer...
...or maybe there isn't a single feeling in my heart and so, I'm just daydreaming, even if it's night...
But!
Despite all this, I don't want to forget this wanna-be emotion, cause I know I can't feel anything...
That kind of a person I am.
I want this to be true. To be able to feel like that, and I don't wanna feel this warmth to erase and deteriorate!
It will disappear eventually...nothing goes on for ever...but...even if it's me, now, awkwardly trying my best to keep this up, to turn it into words so it would not pass away leaving nothing behind.
To let it not be forgotten by the tme I wake up and realise that it isn't the world of dreams, and I still got to go through all this mess at school...
See? It passes away, now...so it was only an illusion...but why in the world my eyes are feeling strange, and my heart is aching?
It can be faith in That feeling, letting me be as I want to be.
Or it can be just some kind of an utterly weak and not self-composed person's self-hypnosis turning on because of that person's fear of true himself.
Or this all above can be a complete nonsense. I don't know. And but me, no one will ever be capable of knowing it.
See? I already don't trust anyone. And I don't trust myself.
It's fear. That's right. I am too much a coward to acknowledge myself.
Doubts. And there's no end seen...
...or maybe there isn't a single feeling in my heart and so, I'm just daydreaming, even if it's night...
But!
Despite all this, I don't want to forget this wanna-be emotion, cause I know I can't feel anything...
That kind of a person I am.
I want this to be true. To be able to feel like that, and I don't wanna feel this warmth to erase and deteriorate!
It will disappear eventually...nothing goes on for ever...but...even if it's me, now, awkwardly trying my best to keep this up, to turn it into words so it would not pass away leaving nothing behind.
To let it not be forgotten by the tme I wake up and realise that it isn't the world of dreams, and I still got to go through all this mess at school...
See? It passes away, now...so it was only an illusion...but why in the world my eyes are feeling strange, and my heart is aching?
It can be faith in That feeling, letting me be as I want to be.
Or it can be just some kind of an utterly weak and not self-composed person's self-hypnosis turning on because of that person's fear of true himself.
Or this all above can be a complete nonsense. I don't know. And but me, no one will ever be capable of knowing it.
See? I already don't trust anyone. And I don't trust myself.
It's fear. That's right. I am too much a coward to acknowledge myself.
Doubts. And there's no end seen...
